KnB Crackers
by xXxAnGeLFLoNnExXx
Summary: Short funny (or crack-ish) drabbles on their everyday lives. #23 (Finale), Fairy Tale: Seirin has a school play on Cinderella and the GoM invades. Chaos ensues.
1. Speech

**Hello, everyone!**

**I always wanted to write a purely humorous or crack story.**

**The drabbles are mostly centered on Kuroko, the other members of GoM, and Kagami. These are not posted/arranged chronologically.**

**I will post the next one later since this is just the beginning of the series. I would update it daily or every other day because I have finished writing the rest of my ideas. Just review any suggestions for a chapter or something.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Seirin laughed at Hyuga's stories about his parents. I mean, who'd thought that a meeting behind a dumpster could bring them together?

"Mom wouldn't stop talking about how handsome Dad was underneath all that grime," The captain mumbled exasperatedly. "and my dad talks about how Mom smells really good despite standing right next to the garbage can." He tugged a bit on his hair. "Ugh, they kept hanging around random dumpsters to date and talk about each other."

"Ahahahaha, I can't take it!" Koganei guffawed, rolling on the floor. Mitobe's shoulders were shaking, and a lone tear dropped from his eye. The rest of them were either chuckling quietly or roaring in laughter.

They already talked about Kiyoshi's gloom-and-doom parents, Izuki's pun-loving mother and serious father with a lousy sense of humor, the confusing history of Kagami's parents, Riko's overbearing father and carefree mother, Mitobe's single otaku dad, Koganei's cat-loving mother, Tsuchida's abnormally ordinary mom and dad, and the freshmen trio's parents.

"So let's hear about yours, Kuroko." Kiyoshi slung an arm around their phantom player. "How did your parents meet?"

They had met the bluenet's parents back in the Winter Cup championship, and Kuroko has inherited _everything _from his mother sans his gender. His dad was a loudmouth and easily-remembered man. His mom was a simple, appear-and-disappear housewife.

The teal-haired male simply blinked at him. "Dad was a stage actor. Mom was a stagehand. Once, their respective companies made a project together and they were assigned to the same play. Mom was chosen to make Dad's clothes. Because of that joint project, the two of them became friends."

Everyone leaned in to listen to the rest of the story.

"Eventually, Mom fell in love with Dad because she noticed how he shone on the stage. She liked the way Dad made everyone's eyes glued to him during his acts and the way he made the play more vibrant with his acting. One day, she confessed to him," Kuroko explained. "She told him, 'Please let me make you shine brighter. As your moon, I will make you, the sun, the number one actor in Japan'."

They could only stare incredulously at their teammate.

"And because of that, they got together, married, and had me." He lamely finished in a monotone voice.

There was an awkward silence.

_'Shit, that sounds just like the light-shadow speech that he gave me,'_ Kagami thought, mentally facepalming. _'Does that mean that he… he—'_

Smoke came out from his ears.

He would never be able to look at Kuroko the same way ever again.

(And so did Seirin.)

* * *

**And that's done! I hope you laughed a lot when you read this.**

**Ciao ciao~! -Flonne.**


	2. Boiled Eggs

**Hello again!**

**As a bonus, I'll tell you the theme for the next chapter: **Voodoo**.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Are boiled eggs the only food you can cook?"

"I wouldn't ask you to teach me if it wasn't, Kagami-kun."

The duo of Seirin were currently in Kuroko's house. The teal-haired male's parents were coming home from overseas work and said teen wanted to surprise them with a delicious, hearty, homemade meal. Unfortunately, besides desserts and pastries, the only thing that the bluenet could make were boiled eggs. He decided to ask his culinary expert for a friend to teach him.

They were currently trying to make scrambled eggs for appetizers. The phantom player wanted to give them a complete five-course dinner once they arrive. The shorter teen was in charge of the light meals and the taller male was to cook the main dishes.

"Oi, stop stirring too hard or it'll turn into mush! I'm not teaching you anymore after this!" Kagami scolded. Kuroko did as told.

The red-haired player turned his back around and mumbled to himself, "Sheesh, not is he just short, his patience in cooking is pretty short too."

The teal-haired teen blinked at his friend. "Did you say something, Kagami-kun?"

"Nothing!" And the redhead busied himself with preparing the vegetables.

After a while, Kuroko was finally finished with his work. The teal-haired teen wiped sweat from his forehead and he held out the plate to the counter where Kagami cooked.

"I am done."

Kagami turned around only to ponder at his teammate's lack of culinary skill.

Failing to cook a simple dish like scrambled eggs? The redhead made sure to give clear and precise instructions to the bluenet; and how the hell did he not understand that when said teen had a longer attention span than him? That's saying something, since Kagami was academically-dumb. Of course Riko and Momoi were exceptions because they overthink every little thing in culinary arts, but this was beyond overthinking!

The boiled egg in Kuroko's plate appeared to be staring mockingly at him.

"How the hell did scrambled eggs turned into boiled ones?" He thought aloud.

"I don't know, Kagami-kun." Kuroko looked down. "It seems that I am not cut out for cooking at all." He then glanced upward with those damn puppy-dog eyes. The tall redhead couldn't take much longer before conceding to his teammate's silent plea.

He bit back a groan. "Fine, fine. I'll teach you some more."

"I would very much appreciate it."

"Here," He handed the shadow some vegetables. "All you have to do is glaze butter on them and steam each one. That should be easy enough, right? And this time, I won't teach you anymore. Really."

The bluenet nodded determinedly, taking the bowl of vegetables and a pastry brush.

Minutes later and he presented his work again to his friend.

"Okay, the scrambled eggs were still eggs, so it was pretty acceptable," Kagami had a tick mark on his temple. "But how the hell did buttered vegetables turn into boiled eggs?"

"I don't know, Kagami-kun." And the cursed puppy-dog eyes were back on again.

This cycle went on for a few more dishes before Kagami had enough.

"It seems that I can't do it, Kagami-kun."

The redhead simply sighed in frustration. It looks like he has to handle everything himself. "Just give me the rest of the fucking ingredients."

* * *

**Omake:**

Kuroko glanced back, making sure that his friend wasn't looking. He hid the bowl of scrambled eggs underneath the counter and brought out fresh eggs. He had opened the stove, ready to boil each one. The teal-haired male planned to bother the hell out of his teammate and make him cook _everything_.

No one makes fun of his height and gets away with it!

_'This is for calling me a shorty, Kagami-kun.'_ He watched with satisfaction as he placed the eggs one by one inside a pot.

The phantom player did the same for the next ingredients handed to him.


	3. Voodoo

**This one is pretty long compared to the other ones I wrote.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Where the hell was his shadow?

Kagami and Kuroko had after-practice plans to go to Maji Burgers. The teal-haired boy was the one who invited him to come and now he was missing!

"I swear, once I see him…" The redhead walked, pace becoming faster by each passing second.

_**Clang!**_

He retraced his steps back to a utility closet he had passed by. The PF was very sure that it was locked and the students on cleaning duty had long gone home. Not only that, their school didn't have any janitors, so why did he hear a random noise from the other side?

Was it… was it a _ghost_?

He involuntarily shivered. _'Get yourself together, Taiga. This is the 21st century! There's nothing in there… maybe.'_

That didn't assure him in the slightest.

Kagami shrugged and decided to push it to the back of his mind. His first and foremost priority was to find his elusive friend and classmate.

"—hope… bad luck… tomorrow." He heard from the closet. Okay, now he was curious. The redhead shook his head fervently, trying to erase any thoughts about the supernatural— and _no_, he was not scared!

—probably.

In the end, curiosity won over fear and the redhead tiptoed towards the door. He grabbed the knob and slowly twisted it as sweat formed on his skin. The hairs on the back of his neck slowly stood in nervousness. The red-haired player pushed the door gently and wide enough for him to see what was inside.

His eyes widened when he saw his shadow, Kuroko, huddling on the floor with a bunch of stray dolls scattered on the ground. In his hands was one of the aforementioned stray dolls—which had a strand of golden blond hair that suspiciously came from an annoying model—and a needle. A freaking _needle_.

There was something oddly familiar with whatever his shadow was doing.

His surprise made him jerk back a bit, making a loud ruckus outside. Kuroko turned his seemingly empty stare at him. "Kagami-kun, what are you doing?"

He bit back his discomfort before answering. "I should be the one asking that. What are _you_ doing?" He finally recognized the other's deed. _'Is he actually practicing voodoo?'_

And here he thought that Kuroko was the sanest one out of the Generation of Miracles. Guess not.

_'The quiet ones are the people you should really look out for,'_ He grudgingly thought.

The bluenet held up the doll and the needle monotonously. "I am cursing Kise-kun, and a lot others who had annoyed me in the past week." He said it all as if he was commenting on the weather, not about his incredulous (and quite dangerous) act.

"Why?"

"Because fuck you, that's why." There seemed to be a dark aura around Kuroko. Was he seeing a second Akashi here?

The teal-haired male continued to stab the Kise-straw doll with his needle as if he hadn't said anything. He was muttering something inaudible, as well.

"What?" Wait… did he hear right?

"Because they annoy me, that's why." Ah, he had heard wrong. Good. Kagami thought that he can't take any insanity more than this.

"Eh, why not just tell them to bug off?" He really didn't understand how the bluenet's mind worked. He could've said that he had enough, and maybe even snap at them or something.

"It is impolite of me to do so," Kuroko answered. "Besides, this is my way of coping with my frustrations. If I cannot vent anything out, I will execute everything I couldn't do." He emphasized his point by stabbing the doll's eye harshly. Kagami cringed at the sight, but didn't say anything. I mean, everyone knows that voodoo is fake.

This was just one of Kuroko's… unnerving hobbies. Like watching people.

"I will imagine it as the real person, and watch as the doll twists and tears apart into pieces." He rotates the Kise-doll's arms. "This helps me get rid of my anger in the safest and least bothersome way."

The taller male was rendered speechless.

Kuroko stared exactly into Kagami's eyes. "Please wait for me outside. I will meet you at the gates in a few minutes."

The redhead could only nod dumbly at his surprisingly mentally-disturbed teammate. He slowly turned around and walked away from the traumatizing scene.

After the incident with the phantom player and their hangout at Maji's, he was unable to sleep that night— dreams haunted with voodoo dolls and needles. The next day, he heard that Kise was bombarded and almost had his eye gouged out from the screeching hordes of obsessed fans.

Kuroko's creepy voodoo thing was real— to an extent, but still _real_.

Kagami made sure not to piss off his shadow again. Ever.


	4. Supply

**Poor Kagami-kun, always getting involved with Kuroko's fits of insanity.**

**We're featuring someone else from the GoM now. Yay!**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"So I had a new idea for a dunk and— holy shit, is that _Midorima_?"

It was a normal day for Kagami and Kuroko when they saw the green-haired shooter lurking around a random alley behind Maji Burgers. What the hell he was doing, they didn't know.

"It is," Kuroko confirmed. "Good afternoon, Midorima-kun."

Midorima briefly glanced at them before nodding in acknowledgment and continuing to rummage amongst the pile of items on the floor. From behind the SG, Takao popped up and waved at the pair. "Hi, Seirin!"

The bluenet bowed in greeting. "Hello, Takao-kun."

Kagami gave a half-hearted wave. "Yo."

Their eyes strayed back to the green-haired teen, who was now diving in the pile of items. The items were quite dirty and smelly. It was then that they noticed that there was a random banana peel on top of Takao's head.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Kagami asked.

"We're looking for Shin-chan's possible lucky items!" The owner of Hawk Eyes merely smiled goofily, ignoring Midorima's 'don't call me that, idiot!' and the can of soda accurately aimed for his head.

In the background, Kuroko scolded the bespectacled teen before doing an ignite pass on a random rock, which embedded itself on the wall. Midorima was impressed with the bluenet's suggestion and had agreed to use a rock next time. Said teen threw a rock at Takao, but the black-haired player only sidestepped to dodge the rock. Kagami sweatdropped.

Back to their conversation.

"You're looking for his lucky items?"

Takao nodded.

"In a dumpster?"

He nodded again.

The taller player simply facepalmed. It seems that Takao was dragged to the insanity that is the Generation of Miracles, just like him.

He turned around to talk to Kuroko, only to notice that he wasn't around anymore. His head swerved in many directions before his eyes landed back on Midorima, who had successfully roped Kuroko in his dumpster adventure. The bluenet wasn't even protesting when the green-haired male had pulled him along the numerous piles of garbage.

"Oi, Kuroko! What are you doing?

The teal-haired player blinked at him. "I am searching for Midorima-kun's lucky item." He dug his hands inside the pile before pulling something out. "Oh, look. A severed hand." He announced monotonously, holding up the said body part in the air. It was bloody and wrinkly.

Kagami, who was a big scaredy-cat when it comes to the dead and supernatural, had ran away immediately.

"Kagami-kun? Oh, well." He turned to Takao and Midorima. "Can I keep this? I want to use the plastic hand for Halloween." He ran a finger across the blood on the 'hand' and sniffed it a bit. "I have to clean it thoroughly, though. It reeks of tomato sauce."

"You can keep it," Midorima said as he stood up, pulling a huge black plastic bag (probably filled with his chosen lucky items). "not that I want you to have it as payment for helping me or anything."

Takao laughed. "Shin-chan's such a tsundere."


	5. Apprentice

**And now I feature a very special guest for today's drabble: Akashi-sama~!**

**This drabble is during their Teiko days, so there's no Kagami. Sorry.**

**Well, I _have_ to give Kagami a break from time to time.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Lift your arm a bit higher, Tetsuya," Akashi explained. "When you toss them, make sure that your wrist snaps slightly in place."

Kuroko did as told. Three pairs of scissors embedded themselves on different parts on the wall, missing the bullseye marks posted.

"It seems that scissors are not the right ones for me."

Akashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. What else could the bluenet use?

He remembered that he had a special pair of scissors somewhere in his pocket. The redhead rummaged his clothes and finally found the special pair. The captain of Teiko handed them to the phantom player. Said male only stared at him blankly.

"Akashi-kun, you gave me a pair of scissors."

The PG shrugged. "They're different. Garden shears have a precise level of sharpness compared to a normal pair. They also have longer lengths and have more durable material."

He was very insightful about scissors, but that really wasn't the point here.

"It doesn't change the fact that these are still _scissors_," He clarified. "They're too big to toss around."

The red-haired PG only raised an eyebrow. "So? They're usable." He pinned another pair of garden shears on one of the posted targets. It hit the bullseye. The phantom player gazed doubtfully at his own pair before he tried them. He failed miserably. The teal-haired male inwardly sulked.

Akashi only stared at his normal-sized pair and talked to his scissors. "How can Tetsuya not be able to use you? Scissors are the secret weapons to achieve world domination."

"I don't know, Akashi-sama. Maybe Tetsuya isn't cut out for our long-time destiny."

"That's impossible. He is the only one who can keep up with our sessions." It was true. Momoi was out of the question, Aomine was not attentive, Kise was _too_ attentive to the point of distraction, Midorima said that he and scissors were incompatible (A taboo to Akashi, I tell you, a taboo!), and Murasakibara preferred to crush people with his bare hands.

Kuroko was the only one who had no problems in tearing anything into shreds.

"Then maybe there is another pair destined for him out there. The scissors choose the wielder, not the other way around."

"You may be right," The redhead replied.

"Akashi-kun, please stop changing your voice and talking to yourself. I still haven't found a weapon of choice yet."

The captain ignored his statement and jabbed his index finger towards the bluenet's face. "Tetsuya, if you want to continue our Basketball lessons, and plans of world domination, find a pair that would suit you best. Experiment on using them if you have to." He gave him a pointed look. "And _only_ scissors, got that?"

"I have no interest in world domination, but I will do my best."

The following week, Kuroko found his destined weapon in the form of crafting shears and safety scissors.

Akashi was so proud of him.


	6. Aomine?

**And Kagami-kun's back to join the chaos.**

**This drabble can be connected to **Voodoo**.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

It happened after they lost to Touou and reconciled.

Kagami was walking along the corridors to look for his shadow, who was missing, and he had passed by the damn utility closet filled with memories of Kuroko and his straw dolls.

He hesitated to open the door. _'Was Kuroko even here?'_

There was a huge probability he wasn't because he made sure that no one would anger Kuroko. Well, that and the fact that Kuroko has a schedule for the disturbing activity for reasons unknown.

"Aomine-kun, why did you leave me? Did I do something wrong, or was I just too weak for you?" The redhead heard someone say. His suspicions about the phantom player hiding in the closet was confirmed. But… Aomine? The bastard was with Kuroko inside?

"The next time we face will be in the Winter Cup. Your light has gone dim, and because of that," Kuroko paused. "Seirin will win. I'll make sure of it."

It came from behind the closed door so he decided to man up and check it out. He slowly turned the knob and pushed the door a bit to see what was going on.

His eyes widened when he saw Kuroko crouching on the floor with a bunch of random items. No sign of Aomine anywhere. There was also no phone so Kuroko couldn't have called the tanned player.

"Hello, Kagami-kun," The bluenet greeted.

"Where's Aomine?"

Kuroko held up a used matchstick.

"What the hell are you doing this time?"

"I was talking to my former teammates," He elaborated. "You have met Aomine-kun. Kise-kun is the dog plushie," Which was badly torn apart. Kagami had the suspicion that it was Kuroko's doing. "This is Midorima-kun," The bluenet fished out a green piece of paper with a pair of spectacles drawn on it. He held up a lighter. "And this is you."

"Why?"

Kuroko opened the lighter and lit it up. "Because your light never runs out." There was something extra creepy with the way that the bluenet explained it. Kagami could only groan as he was yet again dragged into his teammate's insanity. Why did he even bother?

Oh, yeah. He made it his goal to beat the Generation of Miracles and become the number one in Japan, but he can't do that without the teal-haired male's help.

There was also a potato chip wrapper and a pair of safety scissors behind the shorter male, but the redhead didn't ask because he did not want to be pulled in further into the twisted depths of his teammate's mind.

"Anyways, just come to practice."

Kuroko nodded and waved, pulling out a phone from his pocket and placing it on the floor.

"I will, after I talk to Murasakibara-kun and Akashi-kun for advice."

This time, Kagami was not sure if he was referring to the two remaining items or to two real persons.

He really didn't want to know.


	7. Pranks

**Aww, today's drabble is the shortest one I've ever written. *pouts* Why is that?**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Whoever told Kuroko about April Fools can go and die.

Because of them, Kagami, the former Teiko team, and the rest of the Seirin team had to deal with numerous pranks done by the phantom player. It didn't help that Kuroko was a very observant person and he knew _exactly _what their fears were.

It was during the culture festival when the Generation of Miracles came to visit the teal-haired male.

Kise was a trembling mess as he was surrounded by earthworms. Aomine had long gone home after a hive of bees were sent his way. Momoi had fainted at the sight of a frog. Midorima locked himself inside a utility closet after encountering a horde of cats. Murasakibara was running away from a crow that wanted his snacks. Akashi had a tick mark on his head as he was trying to make a disobedient dog leave the premises.

The Seirin team fared no better.

Hyuuga was on top of a table, not wanting the mice to get to him. Riko was with him, not wanting to be touched by the caterpillars. Izuki was on a fetal position, rocking back and forth as he muttered incoherently about clowns. Kiyoshi had lost his smile after seeing a cockroach flying.

Mitobe was shaking after he saw a garden snake and he was currently fanning a tired Koganei who went into a frenzy when beetles flooded the gym. Tsuchida was missing, and the freshmen trio were staying in the infirmary.

Suffice to say, Kagami was fearing for his life now. He was the only one yet to be targeted.

It would only be a matter of time before Kuroko does something.

"Kagami-kun."

Speaking of the phantom player, where was he?

"Kagami-kun."

He needed to know so he can hide from him and avoid the closet prankster at all costs.

"Kagami-kun." A hand grabbed his shoulder.

The redhead jumped a bit on his spot and turned around to yell at the other person, only to faint immediately.

There in front of him was Kuroko holding two leashes. That wasn't the scary thing, though. The scary part was the animal on which the leash was used. It was a Golden Retriever, an adult one. It was pretty big, and it had the teal-haired male's puppy-dog eyes, too. The other leash was connected to Nigou's collar.

Kuroko blinked at his unconscious teammate. "I only wanted him to meet Sangou."


	8. Marriage

**I love making Kagami as Kuroko's sanest (or the only one who's sane) friend. Somehow, there's just something extra fun with picking on Kagami-kun. I love him lots, though!**

**Anyways, I won't be updating tomorrow because I'm busy. I'll probably be back this Saturday (only in the Philippines, I don't know the other countries' time zones).**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Kagami looked on as he watched as the bride walked down the aisle.

At the side, he could see Himuro crying tears of joy, Aomine scowling, Kise laughing, Momoi cheering, and Midorima being irritated. The entire team of Yosen was also around, wearing tuxedos and a cocktail dress for their coach. So was the Rakuzan team, all Crownless Generals standing in attention and shedding manly tears.

He himself was attending Murasakibara's wedding, but he wasn't really invited. He was only here because Kuroko and Himuro dragged him along. The pair both wanted company, and they even used the same methods to make him come.

_'I wonder who's the bride.'_ The tall redhead watched closely as Himuro, the Best Man, lift the veil from the woman's face only to reveal—

A shocking mop of purple hair and a bored face.

Kagami's eye twitched in surprise. _'MURASAKIBARA?!'_

No wonder the bride was flat and very tall. But if the purple-haired giant for a Center was the bride, then who was the groom? Then his eyes strayed to the two Basketball teams that attended. There was Yosen and Rakuzan.

"H-He's marrying Akashi?!" He whispered to himself. Kuroko, who was sitting beside him, heard his bewildered statement.

The teal-haired male sighed. "What are you talking about, Kagami-kun? Akashi-kun can't be the groom, he's the father." And the bluenet points at the side where Akashi indeed stood and acted the role. The shorter redhead was smirking and looking proud for the purple-haired bride.

"Eh?" Kagami answered dumbfoundedly. "If Murasakibara's the bride, and your scissors-crazy ex-captain is the bride's father, then who's the groom?"

"And I pronounce you, husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!" Murasakibara leans down to kiss—

"AN _OBENTO_?!" Kagami shrieked in surprise, standing up. The rest of the guests shushed him. Kuroko pulled him down back to his seat.

"This shouldn't be a surprise to you anymore, Kagami-kun. Besides, you're going to have your wedding some time soon."

"My wedding… with who?"

Kuroko blinked repeatedly. "How can you not now? You were the one that proposed to—" He glances at the one who was sitting on his other side. "Ah, it seems that you're getting married next month."

"Why?"

The phantom player grabbed something or someone awfully familiar to the redhead. "Look, he caught Murasakibara-kun's bouquet. Congratulations, Kagami-kun."

It was Nigou, bouquet of roses in his mouth and tail wagging in happiness as he saw the red-haired player. Said PF paled in response.

"_NOOOOOOO!_"

Kagami suddenly sat up from his bed, sweat covering his entire form. He remained shaking like a leaf from what he had just seen. He buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Good thing it was just a dream."

He wondered how the hell he had a dream about Murasakibara's wedding with an obento, along with Nigou and he being engaged.

"I think I'm hanging out too much with Kuroko. His insanity's rubbing off on me…"

"Whoever said it was just a dream, Kagami-kun?" His head swerved quickly to his left where Kuroko and Nigou sat, with the teal-haired male tending to some roses in a vase— the same ones from Murasakibara's wedding.

Kagami fainted.

"Ah, maybe I'm messing with him too much," Kuroko murmured, poking his teammate's unconscious form before turning to his puppy. "I wonder what he was dreaming about. It must be a very bad nightmare."

Nigou barked in agreement.


	9. Reunion

**So there's been a change of plans. Enjoy today's update!**

**Kagami-kun isn't featured today. I'm sure he needs a break from what happened in the last chapter. **

**Only the Generation of Miracles are included in this drabble. Let's pick on Aomine-kun!**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

It was a normal day for the Generation of Miracles as they waited for their former captain to arrive. Akashi had previously contacted them that he would be visiting Tokyo and would like to have a small reunion. When they asked why he was coming, he said that he had some personal business to attend to.

"Where's Akashi? And here I thought I was supposed to be the late one." Aomine swerved his head from left to right, trying to search for the red-haired player. "Geez, why are short people so hard to find?"

"You know him. Akashi _loves_ to be fashionably late." Midorima said, clutching his jar of guacamole that had a bit of grime at the bottom. He probably got it from the dumpster, again.

"Huh," Munch. "isn't that Aka-chin?"

Across the street was Akashi, talking animatedly with an old lady. His back was turned towards them so they couldn't see their former captain's expression. He must be threatening the old lady or something.

"Honestly, what is he doing, nanodayo?"

"Hiii, that old lady's a goner-ssu!"

Kuroko appeared out of nowhere, vanilla milkshake in tow. He was standing behind them.

"Oh, wow."

They all spluttered in shock.

Aomine jumped from his spot. "Ack! Tetsu, stop doing that, sheesh!"

Kise almost had a heart attack. "Gah! Kurokocchi!"

Midorima coughed to recompose himself and adjusted his glasses. "Seriously, stop using misdirection all the time!"

"I can't help it, Midorima-kun."

"Ah, Kuro-chin." Murasakibara patted his head. "I heard you said 'wow'. What's wrong?"

The teal-haired male tilted his head. "Say, has Akashi-kun ever smiled for real?" He avoided the question.

"The time he smiles would be the day apocalypse comes," Aomine nonchalantly commented, with Kise nodding in agreement.

The purple-haired giant shook his head, opening his next bag of chips.

The green-haired shooter crossed his arms. "Never. Why are you even asking us that?"

The phantom player points behind them (their backs were towards Akashi and the old lady because of Kuroko's sudden arrival). When they turned around, all of their jaws dropped.

There was Akashi, but he was grinning from ear to ear. Not only that, there were sparkles around him. His aura was so bright, it was downright blinding. It was like they were seeing Kise himself, only with red hair and a shorter stature. Hell, what happened to their demon incarnate for a former captain?

Everyone was frozen in shock as Akashi twirled—yes, he fucking _twirled_—as he crossed the street. The Generation of Miracles could only gape at their obviously happy, sparkling captain. Kuroko's eyes widened a bit.

_'SINCE WHEN DID AKASHI/AKA-CHIN ACT LIKE KISE?!'_ All except Kise and Kuroko thought.

For Kise, it was, _'Is that what I look like to the others? Maybe I should lower the sparkly level.'_

Kuroko had coolly pulled out a pair of sunglasses and wore them, still sipping his milkshake.

Akashi must've noticed they were staring because he twirled towards them—they could only wonder why he doesn't get dizzy—and waved at them.

"Oh, hi!" The not so Akashi-like Akashi said. "Is there something on my face?"

They shook their heads profusely. The teal-haired teen only continued to enjoy his drink. "N-No, nothing at all!"

"Okay!" He sparkled some more, looking innocent and… _adorable_. The bluenet was thankful he was wearing his shades right now.

Kise's eyes turned watery and hugged the red-haired teen. "So… so cute-ssu!" He glanced towards the phantom player. "Ah, but you're still cuter, Kurokocchi!"

He was sadly ignored.

Glasses cracked at the sight. "Stop doing that!" Midorima turned his head away. "N-Not that I thought you were cute or anything. It was just a bit disconcerting, nanodayo!"

"Aka-chin, here." Murasakibara patted his head and handed him a lollipop.

Aomine guffawed, feeling confident that his captain won't do anything to him. "I didn't think you could look so girly, Akashi!" They sweatdropped and gave a small prayer for the idiotic tanned male who was begging to be killed. "But I'm not hitting on you because you lack these things." He placed his hands on the redhead's chest.

The rest of the group took a step back.

_'Ah, Mine-chin's digging his own grave.'_

_'It was nice knowing you, Aomine-kun.'_

_'I pray for your soul, Aominecchi.'_

_'If Ahomine dies, I wonder if I can have his autographed basketball as a lucky item.'_

Akashi only blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean."

The group sighed in relief. They get to live to see another day.

Though they were grateful that the redhead wasn't trying to maim them with his scissors, all of them were wondering about the same thing. Did something hit Akashi on the head so hard that his attitude got a 180-degree turn? Did he enslave a lot of people, making him happy that the number of his minions increased? Or even worse, maybe he _tortured, maimed and killed_ many people with his scissors.

Kuroko was the one who spoke what was in their minds. He stared at the other with unreadable eyes. There was a gleam in them, though. "Akashi-kun, did you get run over by a car or something?"

The rest of the Miracles gawked at the phantom player._ 'So blunt!'_

"Err, no. Anyways, why did you ask me that and how did you—"

"_Daiki,_" A dark voice interrupted. "just what do you think you're doing?"

They all swerved their heads to the source of the voice to see— _Akashi?_

_'HOLY SHIT, THERE'S TWO OF THEM!'_

Aomine immediately retracted his hands. He was sure he's going to die now. The second Akashi that arrived had a murderous expression.

"Ah, so that's the real Akashi-kun," The bluenet stated as if he was talking about the weather. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon, Tetsuya," The redhead nodded in acknowledgment. He turned to the ganguro. "And back to you, Daiki. What are you doing with—"

"Oh, Sei-chan!" The other redhead ran towards him and gave him a hug. "Are these your friends?"

"Yes, they are, Suguro." The original Akashi replied. "And one of them seems to have crossed the line."

Aomine gulped.

Suguro giggled, oblivious to the other's plans of killing a certain Ace of Touou. "I see, no wonder they knew our surnames. I didn't think I'd run into your friends here in Tokyo."

Midorima, after processing what just happened, finally spoke up. "Akashi, who is he?"

"Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet." Suguro bowed. "My name is Akashi Suguro. Sei-chan and I are twins."

"Oh— _what?!_" All except Kuroko and Murasakibara exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, we're twins. I'm older," Akashi summarized. It made sense. Now that they look closely, they realized that their captain had heterochromatic eyes, while his twin brother had pure red ones. If it had been during their middle school days, they would be indistinguishable and it would be impossible to tell on who is who.

"Suguro, why don't you wait for me at Maji's? I have some unfinished business to do here."

"Okay~!" And Suguro twirled away.

Now that his twin was gone, Akashi's dark aura came in full force. "Daiki, prepare yourself." His eyes strayed to the side. "And Ryouta, don't think you're off the hook. For molesting my brother, you will die along with him."

"B-But I only hugged him-ssu! How was that molesting?!"

"Touching and tainting my innocent twin."

"That's so unfair!"

"Tetsuya, Atsushi, Shintaro, go to Maji's and accompany my brother." Akashi had two pairs of scissors in his hands, eyes bloodshot and ready to kill. "On the count of three, _I'll hunt you down._"

The pair wasted no time to run. After their former captain had finished counting, he immediately chased them.

"Neh, Kuro-chin."

"What is it, Murasakibara-kun?"

"You knew it wasn't Aka-chin, didn't you?"

Kuroko was silent for a while. "Yes."


	10. Cheating

**This can be considered as a prequel or spin-off to the other chapter **Marriage**. No Kuroko today, but we do have Murasakibara and Himuro today.**

**I'm updating now because I won't be around later. I still have to study for my final exams. *waves goodbye***

**And to those who follow **Girl Power** (my genderbend GoM temporary one-shot), it is finally ADOPTED by **Tetsuna Yuri-chan**. Go easy on the poor dear, though. It's the first time **Yuri-chan** is going to write a fanfic. Oh, and just wait patiently for her to post it, too. I will be helping her~! **

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Himuro has had a hard time tracking down Murasakibara. The purple-haired giant had disappeared when lunch arrived. _'Honestly, Atsushi... what happened this time and where did you go?'_

He had looked for him in the cafeteria first where he can be usually found, but he was nowhere in sight. The raven-haired teen had looked around the snack dispensers in the hallways (for a not-so-massive school like Yosen, they were quite extravagant when it comes to providing school service), but he wasn't there. He even looked around the dumpsters—the Center had gotten the bad habit from Midorima—just to see if Murasakibara was scavenging for food or something!

He didn't find him until he passed by another corridor parallel to the school grounds.

"Atsushi, why are you crying?"

The purple-haired giant hiccuped. "Muro-chin… the cupcake…"

There were tears running down Murasakibara's face. He was clutching on the windowsill like a lifeline. The purple-haired teen was staring directly to a girl holding some sprinkle-covered cupcake. Himuro had immediately noticed that it was his friend's favorite flavor of cupcake that he usually bought from the canteen. He sighed in exasperation. _'So _that_ is what this is all about.'_

"You do know that you can buy more cupcakes in the cafeteria, right?"

"But that was the last one, Muro-chin!" The other wailed. "The cupcake cheated on me and went ahead to be bought by that… monster— his concubine!"

Murasakibara wasn't one for complex words. Himuro had actually expected him to say 'whore' or 'mistress' or something like that. _'Atsushi must be really upset that he wasn't able to buy that cupcake.'_

If the raven-haired teen lets this go on, the Center wouldn't be able to focus on his studies and Basketball. It's time for Plan B.

"It's okay, Atsushi," He patted the giant's back before rummaging in his bag. "Here, have this instead."

The purple-haired teen took the bento gratefully and unwrapped it. He gasped in surprise and delight when he saw its contents. The bento was filled with numerous snacks and sweets. Murasakibara wiped a lone tear from his eye. He murmured to himself, "Is this heaven?"

Himuro looked amused.

The teen glanced at his friend. "Thank you very much, Muro-chin." The purple-haired giant skipped along the hallways, the obento of sweets in tow. The raven-haired teen sweatdropped when he heard his friend raise the food in the air and openly declare that he was going to marry it.

The next day, Kagami and he have a little reunion. He told his surrogate brother about this encounter with Murasakibara. The redhead looked a bit pale. He blinked confusedly at the other.

"What's wrong, Taiga?"

"N-No, nothing. Nothing at all, Tatsuya." But the red-haired teen was muttering about 'Miracles' and 'crazy wackos'. Oh, well. It wasn't any of his business, anyway. When Himuro caught sight of his brother's pale face, he could only think, _'Ah, I hope he doesn't get nightmares because of this.'_ Because really, he already heard of Kuroko's moments of insanity and he didn't want to stress him out more.

Himuro had no idea that he spoke too soon.

That night, Kagami had a dream of obentos and Murasakibara getting married. Oh, and him and Nigou were engaged, too.


	11. Got Over It

**I have no idea how _the fuck_ I came up with this. Really. Sorry for the profanities.**

**R & R.**

**As I said in the previous chapter, to those who follow **Girl Power** (my genderbend GoM temporary one-shot), it is finally adopted by **Tetsuna Yuri-chan**. Go easy on the poor dear, though. It's the first time **Yuri-chan** is going to write a fanfic. Oh, and just wait patiently for her to post it, too. I will be helping her~! **

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Kagami and Kuroko were walking home when they saw Aomine scowling and tossing a magazine to the other side of the court. The tanned male was cussing and gritting his teeth— and holy crap, whatever happened must have really pissed him off.

Kuroko suddenly appeared by the ganguro's side. "Good afternoon, Aomine-kun. Is there something wrong?" The other yelped in surprise. Kagami could only stare at the spot where his friend was a second ago. _'Is Kuroko a ninja or something?'_

"Sheesh, stop doing that, Tetsu." Aomine scratched the back of his head. "But yeah, there is something wrong."

"And that is?"

The tanned male walked a bit to pick up his crumpled magazine. "It's this." He showed a picture of a naked, busty woman. Kagami blushed and took a step back. "Gah! Don't flash that in public, you idiot!"

Aomine flipped him with the finger. "Che, not my fault you're a damn pansy."

"Why you— Kuroko, how do you even put up with this guy?" The redhead turned around only to see the bluenet skimming through the pages of the other's gravure magazine. He sweatdropped. "Kuroko…?"

"Ah, sorry for ignoring you, Kagami-kun." The teal-haired male switched his gaze to the ganguro and handed him the magazine. "I don't get it, Aomine-kun. It's the usual pictures of busty girls that you like. Is there something wrong with them?" Kagami had no idea how Kuroko could have nerves of steel even after seeing pictures of random naked women.

"There's nothing wrong with them." The ganguro pointed to himself. "There's something wrong with me!"

Kuroko raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not excited after seeing their boobs anymore!" Aomine despaired. "How can I get off like this if I'm not excited? Mini-me hasn't gotten some action for a few days now!"

The redhead blanched at his announcement. "What a pervert."

"What the hell are you talking about?" The tanned male grabbed his collar. "It's not perverted. Every man knows that boobs are filled with dreams!"

"Only you would think that way!"

"Say, Aomine-kun, what is your type anyway?"

Aomine didn't hesitate in the slightest. "Busty, curvaceous girls." And he proceeded to elaborate on other details and even bed positions. Kagami felt slightly sick in the stomach that his rival was a shameless pervert who had little to no respect for girls.

"Maybe your sexual preference has changed," Kuroko answered. "You have been unnecessarily arrogant and narcissistic these days."

The taller bluenet took his words into consideration. Well, he _is_ utterly hot and gorgeous. I mean, _look at this muscles!_ He flexed his arms to emphasize his point to no one in particular. He also remembered that he spent_ two entire hours _in front of the mirror, admiring himself. A sudden realization hit him.

"Tetsu, holy fucking shit, you're right!" He grinned arrogantly and pumped his fists in the air. "Yosh, I get it now. I won't spend my money on magazines anymore."

"Get what now, Ahomine?" The redhead asked. "And you actually spend your entire allowance on porn?"

Kuroko clapped his hands in happiness for helping his friend realize his new sexuality. There was a lone tear falling from the bluenet's eye. He wiped it. "I'm so happy for you, Aomine-kun." And he still has that monotonous expression on his face.

The red-haired player gaped at his teammate. "Stop doing that! If you're gonna be happy, then show it on your face!"

"But I am happy." His blank face really wasn't convincing. "Aomine-kun, too. Look."

He pointed towards the ganguro who still has his fists in the air.

"Hear this, Horikita Mai-chan? The only one who can arouse me, is me!"

Kagami facepalmed.


	12. Dead Fish

**This is now officially the shortest drabble I have ever written. Well, I had fun so it's okay.**

**And OHMYGAWD, I'M STUCK IN THE WEIRD PART OF THE INTERNET. SAVE ME. *sees no one and shrugs* No one will come to my rescue? Oh, well. More crack inspiration for me~~~~!**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Say, Kuroko," Kagami started. "Your eyes remind me of a dead fish."

Kuroko flinched slightly, but the redhead didn't notice it. Instead, he dabbles on more similarities between his teal-haired teammate and the said animal. "You're both lifeless, you have no emotions, and your eyes look like they're staring into my soul."

"Who ever said that it's only _like_ I'm staring into your soul, Kagami-kun?" The red-haired player was all too used to the bluenet's insanity so this didn't even faze him. He just scoffed at his friend's reply.

"See? You even have the creepy factor done, too!"

The teal-haired male stilled, his hands shifting inside his pockets.

"Call me creepy, Kagami-kun. One. More. Time."

"Fucking creeper?"

Kuroko suddenly turns on his heels and walks away from the redhead. He was not amused, not at all. Kagami has no idea that he just unleashed a storm— a really big and nasty one that involved two rampaging short Basketball players.

The next day, he goes to school with his gakuran ripped in various places, his sleeves torn with designs that appeared as if it was cut by a pair of crafting shears, and a pair of safety scissors were stuck to his pants. That and a pair of garden shears almost cut his head off on his way to his classroom.

Kagami quickly learned that Kuroko may or may not have been trained to kill by Akashi.

And to think, this all started with comparing him to a dead fish.


	13. Sexuality

**There are hints of GoM x Kuroko and Kagami x Kuroko here, but it's all humor. This story, is in no way, yaoi. It's sad, though, because I'm the writer and I'm a fujoshi. Haha, just trolling. *shot***

**We finally shed some light on another member of Seirin, Kiyoshi-sama!**

**I'M STILL IN THE WEIRD PART OF THE INTERNET. DON'T BLAME ME IF THE NEXT CHAPTERS ARE FULL OF CRACK. **

**And I'm running out of drabbles. I think this fanfic is almost over. I only have a few more chapters to go before I start yet another humor/crackfic for Kurobas.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

It was all Kise's fault.

Well, it was his fault that he eavesdropped on the blond, but still, it was Kise's fault.

Kagami had accompanied Kiyoshi to buy some Basketball equipment for Riko. One of their hoops started to collapse little by little and some of their balls were too worn out for use. On their way to town, his brown-haired upperclassman had left him to check out a sports store.

"Stay here for a bit, okay, Kagami?"

"Yeah, sure."

He wasn't one to wait, and so, he had wandered off on his own. He figured, hey, he could just go back later. It was at that moment when he heard a girl confessing her love to someone, just like in the mangas he read. Japanese people really do treat love and all those sappy stuff like that.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I already have someone else in mind!"

"Then, can you at least tell me your type, Kise-kun?" The girl asked.

The blond exclaimed. "If… if someone is going to confess to me, I'd prefer it if they're short and have light blue hair and can play Basketball. Oh, and they have to be almost invisible, too!"

The red-haired teen was pretty sure that the blond was talking about his teammate. _'Heh, I knew he had the hots for Kuroko.'_ But that doesn't mean he's okay with it.

He walked away from the scene and recalled what he had heard. "So Kise likes Kuroko, huh." It wouldn't surprise him if the rest of the Generation of Miracles were, too. They were quite smitten with the teal-haired teen to some degree.

"Eh, so Kise's Kuroko-sexual?" Kiyoshi intervened, a box of basketballs in his arms.

"Huh— oh, yeah. He is. Overheard him say that to a fan a while ago."

"It's not surprising." Kuroko appeared out of nowhere again. "Kise-kun had already confessed to me in middle school. I rejected him."

The redhead jumped in shock. "Seriously, you have to quit that! And what are you doing here, anyway?"

The teal-haired male shrugged and ignored his outburst. "I met Kiyoshi-sempai in the sport store." The brunet smiled sheepishly at his kouhai. "Yeah, I couldn't just leave him there!"

He glanced at Kuroko. "We know that Kise's a Kuroko-sexual—"

Kagami butted in. "Is that even a word?"

He was sadly ignored. "—so what are the other's sexualities? I kinda think they're all smitten with Kuroko."

The redhead only gaped at his sempai's straightforward comment.

"Hm," Kuroko looked thoughtful for a moment, ignoring his upperclassman's previous statement. "I know that Murasakibara-kun is a snack-sexual, and that Aomine-kun is a self-sexual, but I don't know about the others."

"Is that so?" Kiyoshi laughed. The red-haired player could only wonder how his sempai can accept all of that with an unshaken facade. Maybe he was secretly insane like the Generation of Miracles. He peered at the brunet who was still laughing.

Maybe he really was.

"Oh, hey, isn't that Midorima?" It was true. There was the green-haired shooter on a rickshaw being pedalled by Takao. Kagami felt a twinge of sympathy for the other fellow who was being exposed to the Miracles' insanity.

"Yo, Midorima!" Kiyoshi greeted, standing in front of the rickshaw. "What's your sexual preference?"

Kagami could only gawk at his straightforward nature. Meanwhile, Kuroko had a newfound respect for his upperclassman— not that he didn't have any before, but it was just hard to respect someone who laughed and acted like a goofball all day.

Takao cheerfully answered him. "Shin-chan's Oha-Asa-sexual!" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Or maybe even lucky item-sexual!"

"I do not get off from Oha-Asa nor my lucky items!"

The raven-haired teen gave him a pointed look. "So what was the white stuff on the radio after you listened to your daily horoscope? And what was the white stuff on the cactus plant the other day?"

"…"

"Shin-chan?" Midorima was out for the count.

Takao only grinned and waved at Kiyoshi. "Well, it looks like I have to send him home now. Goodbye!" He pedalled to a random direction.

Kagami was rendered speechless by what he had heard. On the sides, Kuroko nodded to himself, as if expecting the information. Kiyoshi still had a damn smile on his face.

"Oh? What a curious scene!" Akashi appeared in all his short— er, sharp glory.

"Hello, Akashi-kun."

"Hello, Rakuzan no taicho!"

The taller redhead jabbed a finger towards the other. "What the hell are you doing here? And how the hell can you get to Tokyo from Kyoto in a few minutes?"

"Tetsuya called me because he wanted to ask me something. How I got here is none of your business." He beckoned at the teal-haired male. "What is it that you want to know?"

"Ah, Kiyoshi-sempai asked me to ask you on what your sexuality is."

"What else could it be?" He whipped out a pair of garden shears out of nowhere. Kagami flinched slightly at the sight of the scissors that gave him so many nightmares before. "Scissors are the best. They are the keys to world domination."

"I see." Kuroko nodded to himself. "You are a scissors-sexual."

"_I don't get it!_" Kagami yelled. Really, he's had enough insanity for one day.

"If you want to know, Tetsuya is a milkshake-sexual."

"_I really didn't need to know that!_" He shrieked. "Besides, there's no way that's true—"

The teal-haired teen stared at his former captain. "You promised not to tell anyone about it, Akashi-kun."

"IT WAS TRUE?!"

As everything was happening, Kiyoshi merely stood on the sidelines, still laughing his ass off. "Why won't they just admit that they're all Kuroko-sexuals? Kagami, too." He stared at his teal-haired kouhai. "Also, Kuroko should be more honest about who he truly likes."


	14. GoF

**Before you judge me, I just want to say that I have NOTHING against fat people. This is for the sake of crack humor fans everywhere.**

**I was inspired by the **Super Size Me! **fanfic whose author I forgot. That, and a couple of fat Aomine and Kagami pictures on Tumblr. My friend cracking jokes about fat GoMs didn't help, either.**

…**Dammit, I need to get away from the weird part of the internet. And I also need to look for new friends, haha!**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Hey, Kagami, do you ever get fat?" Izuki asked his kouhai who was previously stuffing himself silly with dozens of burgers. The entire team was hanging out at Maji's.

"Huh? Now that I think about it… no."

And that was the beginning of one weird conversation. Later that day, Kuroko was called by Aomine and Kagami accompanied him. The freshmen trio bid their farewells, too. Once the upperclassmen were all alone, the Eagle Eye owner remembered what he was thinking a while back.

"Say," Izuki started. "if those Miracle guys are fat, what do you think would happen?"

"Hah?" Hyuga exclaimed, scratching his head. "Have you… have you fried your brain with a horribly bad pun?" Really, what was this guy thinking?

"I know that wasn't a pun, but it's kinda pun-ny." Izuki laughed. His captain had a tick mark on his head and grabbed his teammate's shoulders, shaking him fervently. "Die, Izuki!"

Kiyoshi placed a hand on both teens' shoulders and nudged them away from each other. "Now, now, go easy on him, Hyuga." He glances at the black-haired teen. "So why did you ask, anyway?"

"Ah, I was just thinking about it after Kagami said he never gets fat and I imagined him, Kuroko, and the rest of the Miracles as fat guys."

Koganei pipes up in their conversation. "Ooh, ooh, that sounds fun! Right, Mitobe?" The tall teen silently nods. "Who should we start with?"

"Honestly, you guys…" Another tick mark appeared on Hyuga's forehead.

Riko grins a Cheshire cat smile. "You know, what? This is interesting!" She cackled like an evil witch. "Just imagine Kuroko and our Bakagami all fat and stuffed!"

Kiyoshi adds his two cents in. "It'd be funny if Kuroko appears out of nowhere and we'd be like, 'he's so fat, how can we not see him?!' or something."

Tsuchida, the usually unnoticed guy, gives in his own opinion. "And Kagami would be an overweight squirrel now, won't he? His Meteor Jam would be a Body Slam."

"Hey, that's pretty funny!"

Hyuga sweatdropped. "You too, Tsuchida?!"

Mitobe gestured something and his cat-mouthed friend nodded in agreement. "You're right! A fat Kise would still be an eye-catcher. He can be the class clown, Copyfat!"

"And Murasakibara?"

"It doesn't make much of a difference. Rather, I think he'd be pretty okay with it. He's in equilibrium then; vertically and horizontally big."

"Damn, I can easily see Midorima as a Buddha or something, talking about Oha-Asa and lucky items. Takao would have a hard time pulling him in a rickshaw."

Hyuga just facepalmed, wondering to all the gods out there why he's the only sane person among them.

The brown-haired coach grinned. "Oh, what about that Aomine then?"

"He'll probably say 'the only one who can weigh more than me, is me!' and still be arrogant," Koganei replied, imitating Aomine's voice slightly. "Heh, formless shot, formless body."

"Don't forget that he'd probably the epitome of fat, shady perverts everywhere."

"But you know what I think?" Kiyoshi grinned deviously. "Akashi as a fat person."

They burst out laughing. Koganei hugged his sides from laughing too much. "Haha, imagine a fat Akashi telling you to know your place!" He falls and rolls on the floor, guffawing.

"He said something like he's absolute, right?" Riko asked.

Tsuchida nodded. "Yes."

Koganei joins again, trying to imitate Akashi's voice. "Imagine if he enters an eating contest or the 'who's fatter?' game. 'I always win, therefore, I'm always fat'… that just sounds so wrong."

Riko rubs her chin in thought. "Well, what should we call the fat Miracles, then?"

"How about Generation of Fat-asses? GoF for short."

"Eh, not bad."

Izuki, who had been quiet for a while, snapped his fingers in a moment of epiphany. "Oh, I've got it! I'll quote Kise, 'Generation of Fat-ssu!'. Then Kagami can be the Fat-ass who didn't become one of the Fat-asses."

"Good one, Izuki!" Kiyoshi chuckled.

Hyuga sighs and asks himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"

And because they're in the same school, he has to deal with this _every single day_.


	15. Magical Girls

**I still haven't thought on what could happen if the GoM found out about the whole 'GoF talk' thing.**

**Anyways, if you aren't comfortable about jokes on yaoi and pairings, don't read this drabble. There would be a few pairings in this chapter, though they won't act on it, just pure humor.**

**And for all **Durarara! **fans out there, try listening to any of **The Ready Set**'s songs. Is it just me or does the vocalist sound similar to Izaya's voice actor? Hm…**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Akashi was bored. Very, very bored.

And a bored Akashi is never a good sign. Most of the time, the result of one bored (short) red-haired teen was the bane of all mankind. It usually ends up with other people getting hurt. Or maimed. Maybe even killed. Just getting pain in general.

Because of that—along with Midorima's bitching about getting a couple of manga as his lucky items. He couldn't get any from all the local dumpsters—the redhead decided to go to Comicon.

"Why am I this Sayaka chick?" Aomine impatiently tapped his foot, staring at his blue costume with a matching cutlass attached to it. Damn, this outfit was breezy down _there_. He actually didn't mind wearing the skirt because it was just that comfy. He wouldn't say that out loud, though.

"Because you're manlier than anyone else. Sayaka-chan's boyish personality suits you. Besides, even though I don't want to see your hideous legs," Momoi stares distastefully at the tanned male's toned and muscle-packed legs. Not to mention, _hairy_. "I don't think you can pull off anyone else's character."

"Shouldn't Tetsu be a better choice? He's smaller and he has blue hair, too." He points at the teal-haired male, who was wearing a pajama of sorts and was carrying a violin.

"Although I would love to see Tetsu-kun wearing a skirt, Akashi-kun said that everyone should have a role. If he plays Sayaka, you obviously can't play as Kamijou-kun."

"Why not? All I have to do is wear a pair of pj's and carry a violin, right?"

"Wrong! Don't you know anything besides Basketball, Dai-chan?" She yelled indignantly. "Unlike my Tetsu-kun, you can't act all quiet and aloof!"

The tanned male had a tick mark on his head. "I don't give a damn about cosplay, Satsuki! Besides, I bet you're not complaining because you get to wear a girly, frilly outfit!" Momoi was cosplaying as Kaname Madoka; her outfit completed with ribbons, frills, and a cute bow in tow. It was fitting that the two childhood friends were cosplaying as girls who were best of friends.

"I don't have any complaints no matter what I wear because we're all dressed as magical girls!" She gave Kuroko, who was pointedly ignoring them, a longing look. "Why are you even complaining, anyway? Sayaka-chan and Kamijou-kun are romantically involved in the series."

Aomine turned a bit pink at that. Where the hell was Momoi getting at?

"It was one-sided, though." The pink flush on the tanned male's face immediately went away.

"Why are you even shouting about, Ahomine?" Kagami appears, wearing a frilly, red dress and a pink miniskirt, showing off his hairy, muscle-packed legs that were similar to the tanned teen's. He was cosplaying as Sakura Kyouko. "Be thankful that your outfit isn't like mine. Frills itch like hell."

"Che, you're just jealous that I can pull this off better than you." He poses and flexes his muscles a bit, resulting in his skirt fluttering a bit, making the other two's faces go green.

"Ew, Dai-chan. No, just no."

"Stop moving so much and flashing us! It's disgusting!" And hell, he never agreed coming to this place. He only came because Kuroko dragged him along.

Momoi squeals in happiness. "Ooh, ooh. Kyouko and Sayaka-chan, huh? Rivals even in cosplay, I guess."

Kuroko decides to join their chat. "Momoi-san, aren't Kyouko-san and Sayaka-san romantically involved as well?"

She squeals again. "You're right!" The pink-haired girl turns away and mutters to herself. "Is AoKaga actually real?" Her face explodes in red, smoke coming out from her ears. "Kya! Just keep going Dai-chan, Kagamin! Show your undying love for each other!"

"No fucking way!"

"Hell no!"

The pair glared at each other after exclaiming their protests at the same time.

"Momoicchi, you support AoKaga?" Kise comes with a tray of drinks, his yellow skirt billowing slightly. The blond model was cosplaying as Mami, complete with the Western-style outfit and the muskets on his back. The look actually suited the copycat. "I thought you supported Kurokocchi's harem because you thought it's cute if everyone fucked him like bunni—"

"Ahahahaha, Ki-chin!" She instantly interjected, shooting glances at the teal-haired male beside her, who only took his milkshake from Kise's tray without a word. "It's not that I support them or anything. I simply like teasing Dai-chan!" She sticks out her tongue. "I don't even like Bara!"

"What are you two talking about?" Midorima took a seat beside Kise, taking the can of red bean soup. The Oha-Asa believer wore a school uniform. He was the only non-magical girl besides Kuroko. Once he had taken their attention, Momoi glared at him. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"This is so unfair!" She wailed. "Why is my character not paired with Tetsu-kun? Why do you have to be Hitomi-chan?" The pink-haired girl balled her hands and pounded her fists on the table repeatedly. "Why does Tetsu-kun have to be paired with you? Waaaahhhh!"

Kuroko's eyes were shadowed a bit. "You made Momoi-san cry."

"I didn't mean to!"

"Midorimacchi, shame on you!" Kise exclaimed.

"I didn't even say anything!"

Kagami approached them, already done with the mini spat he had with Aomine. "Wow, I didn't know that Midorima's such a jerk."

"I'm not!"

Aomine sat besides the pink-haired girl, rubbing circles on her back soothingly. "Oi, Satsuki, snap out of it! It's not your fault that Midorima's a black-hearted bastard."

"Hey!"

"Mido-chin made Sa-chin cry?" Murasakibara came into view, carrying snacks in his arms. He had a red ribbon tied on his hair, a metallic round thing on his left arm, and his outfit had a white, purple, and black color scheme. He was cosplaying as Akemi Homura. "How horrible." He munched on his potato chips and the crumbs fell on the pinkette's hair.

"Don't judge me when you're acting like a jerk, too!"

"I knew it."

"He actually admitted it?"

"Hah, I was right!"

"Stop ganging on me!" The green-haired shooter yelled. Why were they on edge around him? The teen had an inkling suspicion that it was because his character is paired up with Kuroko more so than the fact that Momoi cried. This doesn't apply to the teal-haired teen, though. He readjusted his spectacles. "I should've stayed home. Oha-Asa said that Cancers have the worst luck today."

"If you didn't come, Akashicchi would kill you," Kise cheerfully announced, clearly happy at the thought of his former teammate's demise.

"Shut up!" Midorima's grip on his lucky item, a Kuroko plushie, tightened. His finger was accidentally pressed against the doll's crotch. The rest gasped in horror, sans Kuroko who's intent on ignoring them and Murasakibara whose eyes only widened.

"Nooo, Tetsu-kun's innocence!"

"He's raping the poor mini Kurokocchi!"

"I knew the guy's a closet pervert."

"Midorima, you sick bastard."

"Mido-chin's gonna die~!"

"It's just a doll! And what do you mean I'm raping it?!" He accidentally pressed on the doll's crotch tighter.

"Eeek!"

"There are so many sick people in the world!"

"Is this the hidden nature of Japanese people?"

"Gah, you… you sex fiend! And Bakagami, stop your culture shock!"

"I want to do that to Kuro-chin, too." Murasakibara 'innocently' commented. Everyone could only gawk at the purple-haired giant.

"Everyone's gone nuts!" The green-haired player shouted, dropping his Kuroko plushie on the table. "Where is Akashi when you need him to control this chaos?"

"Oh? Why are you looking for me, Shintaro?"

They all turned around to see the leader of their group. Mismatched eyes watched them, filled with amusement. Midorima slowly facepalmed and groaned into his hands. For once, Kagami was part of the insanity and the green-haired shooter was the one to suffer. The taller redhead was secretly thankful for that.

"Nothing, nothing." He averted his eyes, picking up the fallen plushie. _'Besides, if you did anything, you'd probably just add to the chaos.'_

Most of them were thinking along the same lines. No one could blame them.

It wasn't everyday that you see the terrifying _Akashi _cosplaying asthe cuddly _Kyubey_, even if they have similar personalities.


	16. Nigou

**I'm bored. And uninspired. And busy. And rushing updates because I already have plans for my next Kurobas crackfic.**

**I wanna eat Nutella-glazed pancakes right now. Who wants some?**（人'∀'）皿

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Master? Master, where are you?"

Kagami was walking to the gym when he saw a black-haired boy walking around the premises. The boy seemed to be around four or five years old. He had a pair of doggy ears on his head— _WAIT. WHAT THE HELL ASDFGHJKLASDFK?!_

He rubbed his eyes and he wasn't hallucinating. There was a pair of dog ears atop the black mass of hair. And now that he looked closer, there was a small black, fluffy tail behind the little boy, too.

"Y-Y-Y—" He couldn't form a single word. How in the world could he try to comprehend this? A little boy has dog features. Oh, dear heavens _no_. The last thing he needed in life were people being human-dog hybrids.

The little boy suddenly approached him, sky blue eyes staring unwaveringly. "Have you seen Master?" There was something awfully familiar with the little dog-boy-thing.

Blue eyes…

Kagami squinted. His own eyes widened when he realized why the boy looked familiar.

_'Holy shit, they share the same eyes!' _The eyes, the black hair, and the dog features; there could only be one explanation for this, and the tall redhead didn't like it one bit. He was pretty sure it was so much of a farfetched guess that it was impossible for him to be right, but just to be sure…

"N-Nigou?" He called out.

The boy stared at him. "Yes?"

Dammit, his nightmares came true yet again.

All of a sudden, a mop of blue hair appeared out of nowhere. "Kagami-kun, what are you doing?"

"K-Kuroko?" His mind still hasn't processed the fact that _Nigou_, the bane of his existence, was now part human.

"Master!" The cute black-haired boy tackled his teal-haired teammate. That confirmed his suspicions.

Kagami fainted.

Kuroko stared at the little boy. "Nikou, how many times do I have to tell you not to run off on your own?" He placed his hands on the boy's dog ears. "And don't go around taking the Drama club's props." He also removes the fake tail attached to the boy's shirt. "Auntie is not going to be happy if you continue being a bad boy."

Nikou smiled at his older cousin. "Yes, Master!"

"And don't call me Master."

"But you're my idol, Tetsu-nii!"

In that moment, the real Nigou came. The small Husky puppy ran towards the fallen form of Kuroko's red-haired teammate, and the puppy didn't stop licking the unconscious male's face.


	17. Greatest Fear

**Why am I so busy these days?**

**So I already finalized my new KnB humor/crack fic and how I'm going to write it. There will be TWENTY CHAPTERS for it, but it can be longer if I get more inspiration. I can only give one clue for what it will be about: **Fujoshi**.**

**The last chapter of this humor/crack fic would be the preview for that one. I'm not posting the summary and details on my profile because I want it to be a surprise. **

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Kagami wasn't sure if it was just him or if it realy was happening.

He pinched himself as he stared at his teal-haired teammate.

Nope, still there.

The tall red-haired teen simply can't believe the fact that _Kuroko_ was _visibly_ miserable. For him to openly show his emotions like that, something must've gone really bad. Like… like someone kicked Nigou or something. God knows that Hell will fall upon those who dare try to misplace even a mere hair on the Husky. Said dog has his owner wrapped around his paws.

"Oi." He sat beside his friend. "Something wrong, Kuroko?"

The blunet continued to brood. "Kagami-kun, I think the world is ending."

Kagami raised his eyebrows. It was very unlike the teal-haired male to exaggerate. Or agonize over something. Or express his feelings in general. "Why?"

"…" Kuroko mumbled something.

"Hah? How can I help if you keep mumbling?"

"IhadtoomuchlactoseintakeIcan'tdrinkmilkshakesfora whilebecauseofit," He said without pausing to take a breather.

"Woah, woah. Slow down! What did you say again?"

Kuroko sighed as if the problem was obvious and that Kagami was a big idiot. Well, no one can deny that the redhead can be a pretty big idiot at times. Scratch that. He's a big idiot most of the time. "Kagami-kun, if you must know, I had too much lactose intake."

Kagami had a confused expression.

"It means that I can't drink milkshakes for a while because of it," He continued lamely.

The red-haired teen's eyebrows twitched at that. "That's it?" Just trust this guy to go ga-ga and go loco for the vanilla milkshakes.

A suspicious gleam appeared in the blunet's eyes. "What do mean by 'that's it?', Kagami-kun?"

"Eh, well, I thought it was something drastic like Nigou getting sick or hospitalized, maybe even a family emergency. Besides, isn't it good that you're finally breaking your obsession over those milkshakes?"

A pair of safety scissors was embedded on the wall. "Kagami-kun, would you like me to send over Akashi-kun in a Kyubey suit again?"

The tall redhead shivered at the reminder of the Comicon incident. He can remember it as clear as day. A red-haired heterochromatic teen wearing a Kyubey suit was lurking around the convention, handling a pair of garden shears threateningly, and having a cannibalistic smirk on his face. Honestly, he had never been scared of anything cute and cuddly until that moment.

_"Make a contract with me or die— I mean… and become a magical girl."_

In fact, he can still hear the sound of the scissors constantly snipping as the redhead asked that question with a blood-thirsty grin.

"Kuroko, stop snipping your scissors near my ears."

The teal-haired teen did as told, but not before leaving a message. "Watch out for your ear, Kagami-kun."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a warning." The scissors were gone in the blink of an eye.

"But seriously, Kuroko. I think you should lay off the milkshakes for now."

The blunet's eyes narrowed. "No."

"You need to stop drinking milkshakes or else you won't get to play in any match because of your condition."

Kuroko's heart almost stopped at that declaration. In a swift motion, the teal-haired male stood up, pocketed his scissors, packed his things, and left the premises. He would contact a certain someone to put on his Kyubey costume later.

"You will rue this day, Kagami-kun."

"What do you mean—"

"Rue. You will rue this."

Meanwhile, a shiver ran down the spines of the rest of the Seirin team.

"Why do I feel like we're going to die later?" Hyuga muttered to his fellow seniors.

"Let us dye our hair in blood red before we die!" Izuki cheerfully supplied.

Tsuchida sighed. "We really shouldn't have left Izuki alone with Akashi that one time. Now his puns are suggesting dangerous things."

Koganei shook his head profusely. "I don't want Izuki to end up as a psychopath with a lousy sense of humor."

They all unanimously agreed.

Somewhere in Kyoto, a red-haired teen felt incredibly excited—as if he would maim someone later—for unknown reasons.


	18. Superheroes

**Read a marathon of sad & fluffy Shizaya fanfics for the… third time (I think) in a long time. Now I kinda want to write my own fluffy-sad Shizaya, but instead of doing that, I'll pour my heart out to write some humor to mend my feels. I'm still drowning in them. Bawled my fucking eyes out. Shit, they sting. My tears and snot won't stop, lol. **

**For those who have NOT yet read them, these are my favorite ones:**

Bringing Back the Dead **by **Xaleria07

Midnight Snow **and **Buried Beneath the Cherry Tree **(It's incomplete, though) by **LeviathanoftheSky

The Dangers of a Lovestruck Teenage Izaya** (Forgot the author. It's fluffy and funny and I shit rainbows reading it)**

Star Gazing** by **DokiDouble **(The feels, man! This made me laugh and cry. And it's also incomplete)**

**And I still have no inspiration for the GoF reaction chappie, but I do have a faint idea on how it could go. There's only a few more chapters left before **KnB crackers **is finished! *cries tears of joy* This would probably be my first multi-chap to be completed.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

People ran around as a group of heavily-armed men ambushed the city. Screams and pleas for help echoed in the air. Smoke filled the sky and flames lit up the ground.

There was a terrorist attack in the city. Who could save them from this nightmare?

Who?!

"Look— up there in the sky!" A little girl exclaimed, pointing at a bunch of dots steadily approaching from above.

"It's a bird!" A woman yelled, proud of herself for figuring it out.

"No, it's a plane!" A old man corrected her.

"You're both wrong." Another man shook his head, pointing at the bunch of dots that were coming closer. "It's…" His finger lowered when they finally had a clear view of just what they were. "…a bunch of rainbow-haired guys in spandex and towel capes?"

True to his words, there were five guys with locks of the colors of the rainbow, wearing spandex and towel capes fluttering with the wind. That, and that they were tied to and dangling from a helicopter. One guy was even enjoying his position and another acted as if he wasn't hung from a flying vehicle. Both the citizens and the terrorists sweatdropped at the sight.

Once the rainbow-haired guys and the helicopter landed on the ground, all spectators could only watch as the five of the spandex-wearing guys recomposed themselves. The blond-haired male in the yellow spandex smiled and waved at the people. Women of all ages squealed and sighed. Even though the blond wore the silly yellow spandex, he was still good-looking.

"Have no fear, everyone!" He cheered as he stopped waving. "For the Miracle Rangers are here!"

"Huh?" The people were confused.

"Miracle Rangers? Who're those?"

"Have you heard of them?"

"Nope."

"So," A brave soul took a step forward. "What are you guys supposed to be? We've never heard of these 'Miracle Rangers' before."

"We're heroes in name, and only in name!" Yellow Ranger happily said.

The tall, purple-haired Purple Ranger sighed as he munched some snacks. "That's not very reassuring, Ki-chin."

"Murasakibara-kun is right." A teal-haired male appeared out of nowhere, wearing… normal clothes. In black. But he also has a towel cape tied around his neck. The people and the brave soul who dared to talk to them shrieked in surprise. His fellow rangers only jumped slightly.

"Mou, Blackcchi. Don't do that!" Yellow Ranger hugged the teal-haired Black Ranger. "And why aren't you in spandex?"

Black Ranger shrugged before replying. "I don't know. Ask Akashi-kun."

Yellow Ranger turned to Red Ranger. The red-haired male answered the unspoken question. "We don't have any black spandex." He brought out a pair of garden shears. "And I'd rather not see Tetsuya in distasteful clothing."

_'If spandex are distasteful, why are you wearing one?'_ His comrades thought but did not dare to say out loud.

"Well, I don't want to see Blackcchi in ugly spandex, too!" He hugged Black Ranger tighter.

Blue Ranger grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him away from Black Ranger, who was catching his breath. "Kise, you idiot! You're suffocating him!"

"Bluecchi, you selfish meanie! We both know you're just jealous because I can hug Blackcchi whenever I want."

"What are you talking about? I can hug him whenever I want, too!" He turned to the teal-haired male and declared with a straight face, "Let me give you a hug, Tetsu."

Black Ranger looked away. "I'll pretend that I don't know the both of you, Aomine-kun, Kise-kun." He started to go inside the helicopter.

"O-Oi, Tetsu!"

"B-Blackcchi!"

The two of them were about to follow when Purple Ranger pulled them both. Red Ranger walked towards them. "You two, we still have a job to finish."

"Eh? That's unfair!"

"If we're going to rescue the sorry saps, why isn't Tetsu coming with us?"

Red Ranger smiled scarily. "I'm sure Tetsuya is exhausted from jetlag. Let him rest."

_'But he didn't even dangle from the helicopter with us!'_ The two thought.

"Honestly, you are all so troublesome, nanodayo." Green Ranger, who had been quiet all this time, finally spoke up. The citizens stared at the big fake nose and moustache attached to his glasses. Was this guy on crack or something?

"Mido-chin's one to talk," Purple Ranger started. "he's the one who went all loco when we passed by the local dump."

Green Ranger turned red at that. "I-I was just looking for my lucky item!"

"But you took a lot of items."

"Mu-ra-sa-ki-ba-ra…" He fumed.

Yellow Ranger, who had been released from Purple Ranger's grip along with Blue Ranger, went in-between his two friends. "Now, now, Purplecchi, Greencchi. This isn't the time to fight. Besides, why are you calling each other by your names? We're supposed to call the others by our colors!"

"No one agreed to that but you, Kise-kun," Black Ranger said as he peered from the helicopter window.

"Wah! Everyone's so mean to me!" He ran towards Black Ranger. "Give me a kiss to make me feel better, Blackcchi!"

Purple Ranger grabbed him by his arm and flung him away from their shortest member. "The pest is gone, Aka-chin." Red Ranger only nodded. People watched as Yellow Ranger flew to a nearby dumpster.

"Holy fuck, Kise's actually flying," Blue Ranger commented.

"Would you like to follow Ryouta, Daiki?"

The tanned male paled and shook his head fervently. "N-No, I'm good!"

"I'm glad we understand each other. Now then, where were we? Oh, right." Red Ranger turned towards the forgotten citizens and dumbfounded terrorists. He snipped his garden shears ominously. "Surrender or die."

"Akashi-kun, we're the heroes, not the villains."

"I know."

There was a moment of silence.

"I knew there was a reason why I wanted to be your apprentice." Black Ranger had a creepy deadpanned expression on his face as he brought out his safety scissors and crafting shears out in the open. Purple and Green Ranger sweatdropped.

"Kuroko, put it away. You could hurt people with that," Green Ranger chastised.

"That was the idea, Midorima-kun."

"…"

The citizens talked amongst themselves. "Are we saved or are we doomed?"

They stared at the green-haired male, who wore the silly pair of glasses, as he continued to shoot basketballs (in a very high arc, mind you) towards the heads of the terrorists, effectively knocking them out. Blue Ranger tossed the heavily-armed men to random directions, causing more destruction of public property. Purple Ranger continued to ram into the tanks and vehicles of the enemies. Yellow Ranger was still out cold. There was also the red-haired hero who attacked the terrorists with his garden shears, cackling madly after cutting them down. Last was Black Ranger who was watching the chaos unfold from inside the helicopter along with a pink-haired woman who appeared to be the pilot.

"We're probably doomed."


	19. Assassin

**This is not really much of a humor chapter, more of an 'OMG, they're so dead!' chapter.**

**Just a few more to go before this is finished, yay! Oh, and this is the sequel to GoF.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

For some reason, Hyuga was sure that someone was trying to kill them.

Why?

Well, it wasn't an everyday occurence that a bunch of random items would fly towards you. Pianos, basketballs, cameras, a vault, you name it. Heck, there was even a time when a gravure magazine was thrown at him. He had received calls from his teammates that they were also having weird encounters. He didn't know about the freshmen, but he was pretty sure they were targeted, too. He also didn't know on who would target them, but there was something awfully familiar with the garden shears and scissors that went his way, he just couldn't remember what it was.

The Seirin team agreed to meet at the back of the gym. At that moment, a flickblade had whizzed pass the senior's face and embedded itself on the wall. The clutch player wasn't sure where it came from, but he didn't want to know. He hurried towards the gym where he found his teammates panting hard.

"You guys have any idea why this is happening?" He asked them. They shook their heads.

Kiyoshi laughed awkwardly, fearing a bit for his life. "Now that we're here, what happened to you guys?"

"Koga and I are hits that were almost hit by cars," Izuki happily said, proud that he was able to make a pun at a time like this. Hyuga gave him a hard smack on the head.

"Before I ran into Izuki, I managed to trip on a bunch of random items," Koganei said before exchanging a glance with Mitobe. "Mitobe says that a large shadow was chasing him." The tall player silently nodded in confirmation.

"Caterpillars… caterpillars everywhere…" Riko muttered, clearly disturbed by prior events.

Tsuchida scratched the back of his head. "A bunch of butcher knives were aimed at me."

"Huh, that's somehow like my case, only that a lot of different stuff were hauled at my head," Hyuga muttered.

Kiyoshi grinned at them. "Is that so? I was chased by a biker gang!"

Their captain had a tick mark on his forehead. "Don't act proud of it, you idiot!"

All of a sudden, a thick murderous aura approached them. The sounds of snipping scissors echoed in the air. The team slowly turned around to look at the new arrivals. They immediately regretted it.

Just behind them was the Generation of Miracles sans Kuroko, ready to crush them into oblivion, with Akashi wearing his Kyubey suit. In normal circumstances, they would've laughed at the outfit and would probably think why he was wearing it, but they were currently pre-occupied by the notion that they could die any minute now. Hyuga finally remembered on what or more specifically, _who_ the scissors reminded him of.

"Generation of Fat-asses, huh," Akashi said, breaking the tense silence between them.

"O-Oh, you knew about it?" Koganei was the brave soul that dared to speak. "And why are you wearing that?"

The red-haired teen shrugged. "It's my battle suit. Tetsuya picked it himself. Don't you think it's fitting?" They only nodded quietly, in fear of being subjected to a worse torture if they said anything otherwise. The Rakuzan captain gave them a scary smile. "I'll give you three seconds to run before we kill you." The Seirin seniors instantly scampered off.

Akashi turned towards his former teammates-slash-minions. "Tell Tetsuya that their seniors would be very, very _busy_."

Meanwhile, in front of the gym, stood the freshmen. They had just arrive in time for their daily practice.

Furihata crossed his arms, completely confused by the sudden disappearance of their teamamtes. "Where's Coach and the others?" Fukuda and Kawahara shrugged.

It was at that moment that the teal-haired male's phone went off. He checked and read the text message. "Ah, it seems that they are busy for the upcoming Culture Festival and so, Coach cancelled practice for the next few days."

"That sucks," Kagami commented. Before they could leave, they heard multiple screams of pain and agony that suspiciously sounded like their upperclassmen.

"Whoa, was that Captain and the others?"

The bluenet smoothly lied. "Yes. Coach said that she was going to punish them if they slacked off from decorating the hallways."

The four gained a newfound fear (not that they didn't fear Riko in the first place) for their brunette coach. "That must be one hard punishment if our sempai are that loud."

The red-haired player spoke up. "So… wanna go to Maji's?" They all nodded and left the premises.

Nobody saw the dark smile of satisfaction on Kuroko's face.


	20. Just Watching

**I have no idea where this plot bunny came from, but it sure was fun to write. And thank you to all my readers for giving me the 3-digit number for the reviews!**

**Anyways, I'm also very happy with my grades! *peace sign* I thought that I was going to fail (Hell, I'll be kicked out of my course if I had a grade lower than 2.00 = equivalent to 4.00 in US, I think) because I had verrrry low results in my exams. It was a good thing that I brought my lucky item with me when I took the exams, nanodayo. :3**

**Today's drabble features Chibi/Kid!Kagami.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Kagami didn't know when it started, but he was pretty sure it had been going on for a while.

The red-haired boy only noticed it when he caught a shadow of someone behind him once, and he succeeded in spotting it again. It was at that time that he realized that he had a stalker. Because of that, he had been more alert on his surroundings and had been able to pinpoint where his stalker was each time.

The mysterious stalker had been following him _everywhere_. He sensed his presence around the classroom, on his way to school, in the mall, and even in his house. He paid no heed to it because the stalker hadn't done anything yet, but this didn't mean that he wasn't afraid on what could happen to him.

It wasn't until he heard strange sounds from under his bed that he decided to ask for his big brother Himuro's help. Himuro and he were adopted brothers. Despite that, the much older male was overprotective of him and their surrogate mother, Alex.

"Tatsuya," Kagami said, entering Himuro's room while clutching a tiger plushie in his arms.

The black-haired teen beckoned the little kid to come closer. "Why are you still up, Taiga? Did you have a bad dream?"

The redhead shook his head sleepily. Himuro honestly thought it was cute. "There's a strange sound under the bed. I'm scared. Can I sleep with you?" And he was saying all of this with a sleepy, baby-ish voice. The older male's heart melted a bit at that.

He blinked when his brother's words sunk into his mind. _'Scared… of what? The dark?'_ He wanted to let the boy do what he wanted—because little Taiga was so cute and adorable—but Himuro shouldn't spoil him.

Carrying Kagami into his arms and a flashlight in hand, they walked back to his room. "You have to be brave, Taiga. You're a big boy now, and big boys can sleep alone."

"B-But I wanna sleep with Tatsuya-nii~. I'm really scared!" The red-haired boy looked at his big brother pleadingly with matching teary eyes. Himuro made sure not to look or else he'll give in to the other's demands.

"Taiga, I'll show you that there's nothing to be afraid of." Himuro directed his flashlight underneath Kagami's bed. "See, there's actually nothing under the bed!"

When he turned it on, the brothers saw a pale, teal-haired boy with a creepy emotionless expression. His matching eyes gazed directly at the poor red-haired boy who started to shake in his brother's grasp.

"You're so cute, Kagami-kun, clinging to your brother like that." The ghost(?) said. "Someday, let's play—"

Kagami's eyes teared up.

"—here under—"

His body shook even more.

"—your bed."

The redhead cried in sheer terror. "Uwaaaaah!"

Himuro, face pale, switched off his flashlight. In a split second, he turned around, closed the door, and fled to his room with Kagami in his arms.

Ever since, little Taiga didn't dare to sleep alone. It wasn't until high school that he moved back in there, but he was still terrified of ghosts. During the time he wasn't occupying the room, it seems that the ghost had already left because of boredom. Yet somehow, when Kagami was sleeping, if someone paid attention to the room, they could hear a stranger's voice.

_"I will always be watching, Kagami-kun."_


	21. Tou-san

**I would like to thank **giotsuhibaG2718** for this plot bunny. He's a fudanshi, as you can see from the account name. Anyways, he was doing a recap on KnB season 1 when he saw Papa and realized that he only appeared once and that the GoM haven't met him before. Thus, this drabble was born.**

**Anyways, this story is not yet done. I still have one more crack chapter to go, unless I suddenly thought up of something new, then this will be extended.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"Look, Kagami-kun, it's Tou-san." Kuroko points at a tall, tan, mature-faced guy. Kagami scratches the back of his head as he tried to remember who the hell was this 'Tou-san' guy, but failed miserably. The tan male was looking around, seeming lost.

Yes, this was Papa Mbaye Siki, Tou-san for short.

"Sorry, Kuroko. Doesn't ring a bell."

"We played against him in Interhigh once. He's a transfer from Senegal."

"Oh, you mean that Papa Ganbaruba guy?"

"It's Papa Mbaye Siki, Kagami-kun."

It was at that moment that the tall African player spotted them—more like spotted Kagami—and exclaimed in shock, "Ah, it's you!"

"He found us."

The Generation of Miracles, who were spying—no, not stalking, really—on Kagami and Kuroko decided to come out of their hiding place. Not that Kuroko didn't notice them; I mean, how can you not see a bunch of rainbow-haired guys leering behind a pillar?

Akashi approached the Seirin pair first. "Who is that, Tetsuya?"

"That's Tou-san."

The former Teiko team reels back in shock. _'TOU-SAN?!'_

"How can that happen?" Aomine clutches his hair in surprise and frustration. "There's no way you're related to a black guy!"

Midorima adjusts his glasses, trying to take a better look at the guy. "No matter how much I look at him, I can't see any resemblance!"

Akashi crosses his arms and glances at the teal-haired male. "I guess you take after your mother then?"

"I do," The bluenet answered. "But Tou-san and I aren't rela—"

Kise shaily points a finger at the Senegal transferee. "T-T-That's your d-dad, Kurokocchi?" Murasakibara was the first to approach the tan guy. Papa was a bit intimidated by the purple-haired teen's towering height.

The Yosen Center gave him a snack. "Kuro-chin's daddy, please give me your blessing to make Kuro-chin my wifey."

"Huh?" Papa was confused. What were this rainbow-haired wackos talking about? "I'm not his dad."

Murasakibara and the other GoM blinked. "You're not?"

The African turns to Kuroko. "You, child, address me correctly. People misunderstand."

The teal-haired teen obeyed. "Okay. Papa, then." Papa grunted in confirmation.

The former Teiko team reels back in shock yet again. _'PAPA?!'_

"Eh? Not his real dad, but why is he calling him 'Papa'?" Kise asked, totally confused by the sudden turn of events.

Midorima blinked dumbly. "He said 'address me correctly', right?"

"Papa?" Akashi murmured, also a bit confused.

"Kuro-chin's daddy is shy," Murasakibara nodded to himself, proud that he figured it out.

"How did you get to that conclusion?!" Aomine shouted.

After a bout of silence, the Generation of Miracles came to a surprising conclusion.

Midorima brought out his lucky item as his glasses cracked a bit. He felt a bit faint, but he stood his ground for his former teammate, not that he was worried or anything. "Today's lucky item is a crowbar. It's a good thing I brought it with me."

"Midorima-kun, why are you looking at Papa threateningly?"

This statement angered the rest of the GoM sans their purple-haired member. _'Kuroko/Kurokocchi/Tetsu/Tetsuya called him Papa again! This bastard is going down!'_

Aomine clenched his fists, arms shaking in anger—_ and why did eyes have lightning in them?_ "You fiend, making Tetsu call you 'Papa'…" He gritted his teeth and glared at the African. "You better stay the fuck away from Tetsu!"

Kuroko blinked, not understanding anything. "Um, why are you entering the Zone, Aomine-kun?"

Kise glomped the teal-haired boy in shock. "So you two are into that kind of thing… that sort of stuff…" Tears fell from his face. "Kurokocchi, you shouldn't let him trick you into doing anything you don't want to!"

"Why are you crying, Kise-kun?"

At this moment, Murasakibara finally understood what was going on. His Kuro-chin was going to be eaten by an ugly guy. He ate his snacks at a very fast pace, muttering, "Must crush Papa… must kill Papa…"

"Why are you muttering to yourself, Murasakibara-kun?"

Akashi brought out his _entire set_ of scissors. It was a wide array of collection, ranging from sewing shears to his trusted garden shears and to kitchen scissors. He had a dark look on his face as his bangs shadowed his eyes. "Tetsuya, you shouldn't associate yourself with this lowlife." His scissors gleamed ominously.

He glanced at his minions. "Get him."

Papa realized that if he doesn't get away now, he'd be tortured, maimed, killed, and his body would be dumped in Tokyo bay.

"He's running away!"

"Murasakibara, catch him!"

"Midorimacchi, throw your crowbar!"

"I'm already on it, nanodayo."

As this was happening, Kuroko only watched from the sidelines. He didn't understand what was going on, but he was enjoying the torture. Meanwhile, Kagami facepalmed at the GoM's stupidity.

_'Come on, even I knew the guy's a high-schooler when I saw his jersey!'_ The red-haired player thought.

"I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME TO JAPAAAAAAAN!"


	22. Accident

**So I realized that Akashi has never had any accidents when he uses his scissors and I was kinda cracking up when I imagined all the scenarios that could happen if he makes a mistake. Which is never. And then I saw this one fanart where he accidentally cut something... I won't spoil it ;)**

**Anyways, the last drabble was inspired by an online friend. I had no idea it was already made into a comic strip. *WHY, GOD? WHY?! SOMEONE GOT TO IT BEFORE ME!***

**Never gonna take it down, though. Okay, I thought up of a new drabble, so the next one is the last one. I swear, really.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

The Generation of Miracles had a reunion again after the last one was ruined (courtesy of Aomine, Kise, Akashi, and Akashi's twin). They arrived at Maji's without any interruptions.

Right now, they were talking about the summer training camp for Basketball teams in high school.

"Just because we aren't in the same team doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare yourselves," Akashi warned, pulling out his scissors as he snipped them.

In an instant, something fell from his head and onto his face. It was then that he realized that he accidentally trimmed his hair when he moved his scissors. He looked absolutely ridiculous with the straight bangs. His former teammates only looked in shock until—

"Hahahaha!" Aomine guffawed. "Damn, I never thought that you would be this careless, Akashi!"

Kise also found it funny, but he didn't laugh as hard as the tanned male did. "Pfft… Akashicchi, this is priceless!"

Unlike the previous two, Midorima muffled his laughter by pretending to cough. "Ehem, Akashi, you should be… erm… more careful next time." His cheeks were a bit red and puffed out from holding back his laughter.

Murasakibara patted the red-haired player's head. "You look funny, Aka-chin."

Kuroko was the last to say something. "Though the bangs look ridiculous, you're still good-looking, Akashi-kun."

That was the last draw. The redhead had a tick mark on his forehead, albeit unnoticeable. In one swift motion, he swiped his scissors across his former teammates' foreheads.

Hair fell simultaneously. Akashi looked smug as he stared at their straight bangs. "There. Now we all match."

Aomine glared at their captain. His slanted straight bangs were unsightly. "What the hell, Akashi? What's the big idea?!"

"Do you have any complaints about it, Daiki?" There was another snip of scissors. He hesitantly backed down.

Kise cried animatedly. "Wah! You're so mean, Akashicchi! How am I supposed to model like this?"

"Deal with it."

Midorima brought out his mirror (lucky item for the day) and despaired. "This looks silly on me, nanodayo. Takao would probably laugh at me…!"

Kuroko glanced at Murasakibara, who was munching on his snacks silently. "It looks good on you, Murasakibara-kun."

The purple-haired giant ruffled his hair. "Thanks, Kuro-chin. Yours look good, too."

The teal-haired male nodded before fishing out a hair clip from his pocket. He clipped his bangs, letting a few parts of his bangs hang. The bluenet also snipped it a bit with his own scissors. He borrowed the green-haired shooter's lucky item. "Much better."

"I'm glad that you both find it satisfactory, Tetsuya, Atsushi."

While they were walking out of Maji's, people stared at them, but none dared to speak— not when a certain red-haired shortie was glaring at anyone who laughed at their hair.


	23. Fairy Tale

**I'm saving the best drabble for last~! Thank you for everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and favorited this story! *bows* I never thought that I could finish this in a month! *cries tears of joy***

**The preview for my next KnB humor/crack fic is at the end of this drabble.**

**R & R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a teal-haired boy who was being abused by his evil red-haired stepmother and his older stepsisters—

"There is no way I would abuse Tetsuya," A red-haired _guy_ in a big, red poofy dress said.

A tall purple-haired male in a white dress was munching on popcorn. "Kuro-chin is too nice and tasty to be hurt."

"I wouldn't do that to Kurokocchi, too!" A blond crossdresser exclaimed. "And Akashicchi, you're not going to deny that you're evil?"

"I thought I already made it clear after I castrated that Siki bastard from a previous drabble."

Kise shivered involuntarily.

"Oh, Ryouta, sweep the floor." And a broomstick was tossed to the model.

"Huh? Why me?" He pointed at himself before flailing a bunch of papers around. "It says here in the script that Kurokocchi's Cinderella."

"Though I wouldn't mind seeing Tetsuya in a maid outfit, I wouldn't want him to waste his energy doing chores." Akashi had a suggestive smirk on his face. "I need him to be in top condition later. In the night. When everyone's asleep."

"Hiiii… I'm getting worried for Kurokocchi!" He gaped at his supposed sister who was littering everywhere. "And Murasakibaracchi, don't make my job any harder than it is!"

"But Aka-chin said so."

Meanwhile, in another part of the house, their supposed 'Cinderella' felt that pain will come to bite him in the ass. Literally.

"Was the play supposed to go this way?"

"Why are you even complaining? This is crack at its best!"

"Kyaaaa! You're still handsome even if you're a servant, Kise-kun~!"

"Psh. Fangirls."

Back to the play, Kuroko had received a letter from a black-haired sempai of his ("Before I leave, I—" "I'll listen to your puns some other time, Izuki-sempai." And the teal promptly shut the door to the messenger's face.) and he had given it to his stepmother.

"Mother, let's go to the ball," Kuroko deadpanned.

Before the redhead could answer him, Murasakibara intervened. "Do they have snacks there, Kuro-chin?"

"Yes."

"Then I want to go."

Kise, who had finished cleaning the stage (carpets were a pain), joined their conversation. "I want to go, too!"

"You stay here, Ryouta."

"Eh? Whyyyy?"

"I want to see Tetsuya in a dres—" Akashi faked a cough. "I mean, we only have three dresses. One is too big for you, and the other two are too small."

"So does this mean you're admitting you're small, Akashicchi?"

"So does this mean you don't want to go to the ball, Ryouta?"

There was silence.

"This is the part where I shut up, right?"

The audience blinked at the scenario. Okay… so why was the stepmother defending (eye-raping) Cinderella? And why was she (he) bullying one of the stepsisters?

"Why are those Miracle guys on stage? I thought this was an all-Seirin play."

"I heard the cast was mysteriously food-poisoned or something."

"I'm sorry for not knowing the answer! I'm sorry for being useless! I'm sorry for—"

"Susa, shut him up. And where's Imayoshi-san, anyway?"

"I don't know. He said he has a surprise for us."

The teens turned back to the play, where they showed the scene of the cast looking at the dresses.

"Akashi-kun, I'm staying behind."

"Why is that, Tetsuya?" There's no way he'd leave the bluenet because this was the perfect chance to see him in a dress.

Kuroko held up a yellow dress. "The dress is too big. I think this is for Kise-kun."

Glaring daggers at the unsuspecting blond, Akashi glanced at the teal-haired teen with a forced smile. "I see. Ryouta will be coming with us, then." He turned around and muttered to himself. "I made sure they would make Tetsuya a dress… damn stagehands."

Once Akashi, Kise, and Murasakibara left, a tanned male entered the scene. The male was holding a twig and a rope was tied to his waist, which enabled him to dangle in midair. He was also carrying a backpack.

"Yo, Tetsu!"

"Aomine-kun, why are you wearing a tutu?" There were also fake wings stapled to his tutu.

Instead of being embarrassed, the ganguro actually looked proud. "It's not a tutu, it's a mantu! It has extra support!" And he said all of this while doing a poor imitation of Spongebob's voice. "Besides, it's pretty comfortable. Wanna wear it?"

"No," Kuroko deadpanned. "Anyways, what are you doing here?"

"Right, almost forgot about that." Aomine rummaged through his backpack and took out a long, sky blue dress. "Here. The guys at the back just finished making it."

"AHHHHHHH!"

"MOMMY!"

"BEGONE, SATAN!"

The screams continued to echo from backstage.

"That must be Akashi. He was pretty ticked off when your dress went missing."

"Saa, Aomine-kun. Can I go to the ball now?"

"Yeah, sure." He snapped his fingers and a black-haired teen joined them, pulling a rickshaw with him. "Takao here's your slave. He's paid for the rest of the day. If midnight comes and you're not around, he'll get his ass out so don't forget you have a ride."

"I will be sure to remember that."

Their spectators only blinked at the new arrival.

"Hey, that's Midorima's rickshaw, right?"

"What is Takao of Shutoku doing here?"

"I honestly have no idea."

In the play, Takao pulled Kuroko along with ease.

"You're a lot lighter than Shin-chan. Like a hundred times lighter."

"Hai. He may not look like it, but Midorima-kun gains weight easily."

An enraged yell came from the backstage. "Hey! I thought I told you to keep that a secret!"

"I made no such promises, Midorima-kun," The teal-haired boy replied.

It wasn't long before the two arrived in front of a cardboard castle. People were already dancing around and it seems that they have already started looking for the prince's future wife. Kuroko stood before a cardboard tower at the side. He saw long pink hair fluttering from above.

"Momoi-san, is that you?"

"Tetsu-kun, you're finally here!" A pink-haired girl squealed from above. She brought out a ladder from her spot and climbed down. Momoi was wearing a princely ensemble with a small golden crown on her head. She glomped the unsuspecting pokerfaced male. "Heehee, that means we have to dance, right?"

"Yes." Kuroko clapped twice. "Please turn on the music. My favorite song is on."

_Potato, potato, potato_

_Potato, potato, potato_

_Potato, potato, potato_

_Potato, potato, potato_

"This is your favorite song, Tetsu-kun?"

"No. I think there is a technical difficulty." The crew gave them a thumbs up and changed the song.

_I'm not gay, guys _

_That ain't me_

_I'm just comfortable with my sexuality_

_So I can admit when I see a guy_

_Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes._

"_That's_ your favorite?"

"No. Still not mine. It is Kise-kun's, though."

"Kurokocchi, you promised not to tell anyone!"

"I never agreed." The teal-haired teen proceeded to throw a pair of scissors towards the background music crew. They all scrambled in fear and changed the song in a heartbeat. A bunch of instrumentals echoed from the speakers.

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard_

_And they're like, it's better than yours_

_Damn right, it's better than yours_

_I can teach you, but I have to charge!_

"They finally got it right."

"It suits you, Tetsu-kun."

"Thank you, Momoi-san."

The pair danced to the tune of the song. On the sidelines, Akashi was fuming. Why was he not paired to the bluenet? In a fit of jealousy, he went to the crew and threatened them, pointing at the big clock on top of the cardboard castle. "Make the clock strike midnight or _else_."

They nodded in fear. "Yes, yes! Please have mercy!"

And so, clock strikes twelve. Momoi looked crestfallen but she let her beloved Tetsu-kun leave. It wouldn't do her boyfriend (self-proclaimed) any good if his slave deserted him.

However, Kuroko tripped on the stairs and accidentally left a wristband behind. Why he was carrying a wristband, nobody knew. Because of this, he was late by a minute and Takao left him. The teal-haired male had no choice but to walk home.

Momoi, who followed Kuroko to wave goodbye, picked up his wristband. "Ah, Tetsu-kun dropped it." She sniffed it like a psychotic yandere stalker. She probably was.

"They're at the last part already? Where is the romantic scene between Cinderella and the lovely mademoiselle?"

"Suck it up, Moriyama. And shouldn't it be the prince and the lovely Cinderella?"

"Cinderella's a guy."

"Shush, guys! Some people are actually enjoying the play."

They turned their attention back to the stage.

Kuroko was walking along the forest when he saw a cottage. He went inside the cottage to take refuge. He saw a tall sempai of his talking with his teammates. He approached them.

"Hello, Mitobe-sempai. What role are you playing?" He didn't recognize his upperclassman's costume. It was pretty familiar, though.

His upperclassmen jumped in shock. "Don't do that!"

Koganei decided to answer for his friend. "Mitobe's the beast and we're his servants!" It was true. The whole Seirin team was there. The servants were Hyuga, Kiyoshi, Tsuchida, Kagami, and the freshmen trio. Izuki wasn't around because he was already the messenger (and Momoi's valet). There was also no sign of Riko anywhere.

Tsuchida was wearing a costume that was a cross between a gnome outfit and a candelabra outfit. "We're also the seven dwarves."

Kagami was scratching the back of his head, completely confused. "Why are we doing a cross of Beauty and the Beast and Snow White? I thought we were doing Cinderella!"

"Cinderella was the original plan, but we're short on people," Hyuga explained. "That Akashi also altered the script."

Kuroko blinked at them. "Where is Coach?"

"Don't worry about her. She's on her way here—"

The door suddenly opened and in came Riko who was wearing a long black robe and a basin of honey-soaked lemons, which were now sliced. The questionable fruits were emitting a strange miasma.

"Hi, guys!" She entered. "I brought you your supplementary lemons~!

They all took a step back. The brunette coach had a tick mark on her forehead. "Now, don't be like that. I did a better job at mixing the honey with vitamins. I even sliced the lemons now!" That made them back away even more. "Fine. If this is how you want it to go then…"

She grabbed the nearest one, which was Kagami. "Here, try some!" She shoved some lemon slices into his mouth. In a split second, the red-haired player went down. The Seirin team, sans Kuroko, screamed in terror and ran away from their coach. Said brown-haired girl tried to make them try her lemons.

"Since when did this turn into some horrible parody show?"

"I don't know the story anymore."

Izuki, who was standing backstage, was laughing at the chaos. "They're having some parody-filled _pun_." A random Seirin student whacked him on the head.

Kuroko was watching everything as he sat on the ground beside the unconscious Kagami. From his periferal view, he saw Midorima holding up a sign saying 'Overtime!'. The teal-haired male nodded at him. The green-haired shooter also nudged Nigou—who had Kuroko's wristband in his mouth—to go towards them.

The bluenet scooped the Siberian Husky into his arms and brought Nigou to his teammate's face. The puppy eagerly licked Kagami and the red-haired player woke up because of it. He screamed in terror.

"W-W-W-WHA—"

Kuroko took his wristband and fitted it on Kagami. "Will you be my light, Kagami-kun?"

The redhead blushed at the implications. "Stop saying embarrassing things, idiot!" On the sidelines, a crew member was gesturing at them to hurry it up. "F-Fine. Yes."

The teal-haired male smiled at him. "I'm glad."

The Generation of Miracles were either crying or pissed off at the red-haired player. _'LUCKY BASTARD!'_ They all looked ready to kill.

Imayoshi suddenly entered the scene, wearing priest robes. He was carrying a math textbook with a sharpie drawing of a cross on the cover. "And I now pronounce you, husband and wife!"

The red curtains were dropped to hide whatever bloodbath that will happen. Izuki went on stage. "That's the end of—" A basin of honey-soaked lemons was thrown at his head. Hyuga immediately took the pun lover's spot. "Thank you for watching our play."

"That's the best parody ever!"

"Brilliant!"

"I wanna see Kuroko-sempai in a dress again!"

"Kyaaah, Kise-kun~!"

"Yaoi!"

"Where are the honeymoon butt smecks?!"

The students cheered, completely overwhelming Kagami's terrified screams on the other side of the curtain.

* * *

**Here's the information for the next fic~! And yes, the fujoshi's name is 'Fujoshi'. LOL, I can't think of a name that fits a yaoi fangirl.**

**Title: **I HEART YAOI!

**Summary:** A look into the lives of the KnB male cast if they married a fujoshi. Crack-ish.

**Preview:**

Somewhere out there, there was a girl who loved something more than anyone else.

She was an otaku in every sense of the word. She loves cosplays. She loves to draw anime. She loves to dance to the songs of J-Pop. She loves to play all kinds of Japanese visual novels. She loves to squeal to the voices of her favorite male seiyuu. She loves to fangirl over handsome, fictional characters.

But if there was something she loves more than anything, it was—

Yaoi.

She would go into a frenzy once she detects it. She would be very excited when she ships a yaoi couple. She would do several fangasms over her OTP's fanservices. However, no one would blame her.

It was in her blood,

In her passion,

And in her name.

She had been a descendant of a family whose women are all yaoi fangirls. Her mother supported shotacon yaoi. Her grandmother liked BDSM yaoi. Her great grandmother loved bara and so on and so forth.

She herself loved tentacle rape. Male version, of course.

Fortunately for her, in any parallel world, she married a total bishounen who had bishounen friends.

Unfortunately for her husbands, she was shipping them together with their friends.

Who is this heroine of justice, love, and all things hot yaoi?

Her name is…

Hikikomori Fujoshi.


End file.
